Believe It
by Selfless-Touched-Storyteller
Summary: Reid's POV. CHARACTER DEATH. "Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win." -Stephen King


**Author's Note: I never write character deaths. NEVER. So this was absolutely heartbreaking for me** **to write. You can blame the song Heart Of Courage by Two Steps From Hell** **... :'( **

**...point of fact: if you listen to this song while reading this, you will probably cry. (so, please do) ;) **

**Please read and review! And check out my work-in-progress: Far From Home! xD**

* * *

><p><em>"We all live in a house on fire, no fire department to call; no way out."<strong> ~Tennessee Williams<strong>_

* * *

><p>I didn't mean for it to happen.<p>

Hell, _no one did_.

And that's why it happened.

* * *

><p>We were powerless to stop it.<p>

Oh, but the _guilt_.

_I could've done something to help her._

Right?

...

_No._

In one moment, the world went dark.

Pitch-black.

Just like that, she was _gone_.

Cold, lifeless—_dead_.

I tried to stop it.

I really did.

I saw it coming.

But I moved…

Too slow.

I wasn't there for her when she needed me most.

When she needed us _all_.

* * *

><p>…<p>

I believe it now.

That monsters truly exist.

That _evil _has a place in this harsh, unforgiving world.

It's true.

I still don't know _why_.

I don't think I'll _ever_ know why…

All I know is I believe it.

I've seen it.

* * *

><p>…<p>

It took me a long time to believe the truth of it all.

But after so many times, the perceived notion starts to sink in.

…

* * *

><p>It all starts with a monster.<p>

That mad grin, the shaking hands gripping the trigger, pulling fast—*BOOM*

The _bastard's _head snaps back with _my_ bullet in his head.

_Yes_.

And just like that, the monster is dead.

I did it.

_We_ did it.

Still alive, _still alive_.

* * *

><p>…<p>

But that's when I hear it.

The quiet scream—for _somebody_.

_Anybody_?

The choking.

The tears.

The gurgling sound the blood makes as it pours from her chest.

…

* * *

><p>Here's something you don't know:<p>

The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.

But of course, I had to bring up _that _fact.

Here_..._

_Now._

* * *

><p>"S-S-Spence..?"<p>

_No_.

Not this girl.

Not this day.

_No way in hell_.

* * *

><p>...<p>

I see her there.

Beneath me.

Lying on the ground.

Pale, trembling with cold and anguish.

Clutching my sweaty hand with her own.

Struggling to breathe.

Coughing droplets of blood; _splattering my face_.

I don't mind.

I care about _one_ thing.

We all do.

_All of us_, holding her tight, protecting her with our warm bodies.

But it's all too late; don't you see?

* * *

><p>…<p>

_God, please…save her._

_She can't—she's dying…_

_I can't let her—_

_Please..?_

…

* * *

><p>But God isn't watching.<p>

God doesn't care.

She's dying, and _God_ _**does not care**_.

Because it's _too_ _late_…

* * *

><p>…<p>

This is when it finally hits me.

This is when I know for sure.

_Evil exists_.

_Evil is here_.

_Evil is taking her away_.

From me.

From the _world_.

* * *

><p>…<p>

_No…_

…

* * *

><p>She looks at each of us, one by one.<p>

And I just sit there, watching her.

The ambulance is coming—we all know this.

But it'll come too late.

* * *

><p>…<p>

_Never_ have I felt so alone.

_Never_ have I felt so helpless, so _lost_.

All I wanted to do was keep her safe.

Now, all I want to do is make it _better_.

* * *

><p>I want to not let them take her away.<p>

She needs to _stay_ _here_.

With her _family_.

With her _son_.

With the people she loves.

_With those who love her in return_.

* * *

><p>She reached out and touched my face, ever so gently.<p>

"H—Henry—"

"I know—"

"Yale."

"What?"

"Y—you promised—remember?"

She tried to smile, but it was more of a pained grimace.

I grabbed her hand, understanding.

Remembering.

_Almost_ smiling back.

"He _will_."

She nodded, relieved, I guess.

* * *

><p>A tear rolled down my cheek.<p>

_This was it_.

The warmth was slowly draining from her body—I could feel it happening_._

_And I can't do anything to stop it._

* * *

><p>…<p>

_NO._

...

* * *

><p>She touched everyone one last time…<p>

…and looked up at the night sky, so clear tonight.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"The pain is gone…" She whispered, a serene look crossing her pallid face.

"I—I'm glad…"

I couldn't think of anything else to say.

* * *

><p>…<p>

We just sat there, holding her.

As the warmth left her body.

_Shuddered_ out of her.

Leaving behind an _empty shell_.

* * *

><p>…<p>

_She's gone._

…

* * *

><p><em>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.<em>

* * *

><p>Tears streaming down, sobs wracking my body.<p>

_Why does it hurt so much?_

_Stop; stop HURTING._

_Make it STOP._

_Oh, God, please._

That silent bastard.

* * *

><p>…<p>

_SHE'S DEAD_.

She's dead, and I let it happen.

_I let it happen_.

...

* * *

><p>Four pairs of hands grab my own.<p>

Morgan, Hotch, Rossi, Emily.

Holding on to my hands for dear life.

'Cause we all need to _feel_.

Something…a_nything._

Anything but this _goddamn_ _pain._

* * *

><p>…<p>

Now you know.

Now you see the _truth_.

Monsters exist.

Evil exists.

And we're powerless to stop it.

* * *

><p>…<p>

I don't have faith anymore.

In _anything_.

I lost my _best friend_, the kindest person I know—_knew_.

A _mother_.

A _sister_.

_One hell of a woman_.

* * *

><p>…<p>

_**Jennifer Jareau is dead.**_

…

* * *

><p>And now you know why.<p>

_Why I believe what I believe_.

You see it.

* * *

><p>…<p>

_Believe_ it.


End file.
